When I was younger I used to be vocally indignant when a guy had the audacity to open a door for me. It felt patronising and as if my power, authority and agency was diminished in some way. The blokes were typically offended or confused, but I soon trained them and no doubt this contributed to some of the less than flattering comments used to describe me – the most memorable: ‘she’s a ball buster!’
As I’ve matured I’ve been less concerned with it. Guys still open doors but I’m confident and comfortable enough in my own skin not to feel diminished at all. There’s not a lot to gain if I make a big deal of it. In fact, it’s likely to offend the guys when many just think they’re being polite.
These days my preference is to make it as easy as possible for most people to get along with me. I prefer pragmatism to self righteousness and know that it’s better to keep the blokes on side so that they will support me when I need their buy-in.